Within a Designer’s Mind

As the new year officially begins to roll in I begin to plan for everything I’d like to accomplish this year. I don’t ever make a list of resolutions. Resolutions always sound like a list of things you thought about doing but don’t really intend to follow through with, otherwise you wouldn’t have to wait until January 1st to start changing your habits, only to stop after week 3 into the year. We all strive to be healthier, we all want to spend more time doing what we love, and we all want a lot less of whatever it is that makes us want to shoot our brains out. 

New York City
But it’s always easier said than done, right? The idea of following what truly makes us happy? Sometimes you feel as though you’re held back by something you think you can’t control. What your peers would think, what your family would think, and what your arch enemies would think of you. Haha. We all have them. Don’t act like you’re everyones favorite person. I honestly believe if you don’t have some haters, you’re doing something wrong. But I digress. What holds you back from what you love? What holds you back from what you want to do?

Whether you want to be on Broadway, or decide overnight you want to make the move to Los Angeles or New York because you know in your gut that’s where you belong. What is holding back from saying ‘yes’? Is it money? Is it family? Is it the fact that everyone around you consistently says it’s impossible?  This year, I say fuck the voices around you. I grew up hearing it everywhere. Many people make it all the time, and many more are out there doing what they love, they just don’t have a terribly scripted and staged reality show on E! showcasing it so you don’t see it. What is it about dreaming up this fantasy life at night and then waking up in the morning going back to your daily routine?

Who are you trying to fool? You know it doesn’t make you happy.

I’ve always felt I was meant for something better. I never knew exactly what I would fall into, but I knew somehow I’d make a big impact doing whatever it is I chose. There are so many things I want to achieve before my time comes. I want to design, I want to write, I want to travel, I want to dance on a stage again, I want to play bad ass roles in the biggest Blockbuster summer movies of my time, I want to eat a family size bag of Sour Patch Kids and then jump into the drivers seat of an Aston Martin and race all the pro drivers of the world. I like to shoot big. And why not?

You only have one life to live. Why waste it looking out the window. 

It can be a struggle at times to decide what is appropriate and what isn’t when sharing details of your life. The true behind the scenes of an industry that is too often glamorized. But what should I share and what truths should I keep within these walls?Do I only share the riches and fruits of my labor or are you interested in the daily battles of this adventure? Because thinking about it in retrospect, the shit we get ourselves into sometimes is pretty funny. So I’ve decided to open myself up to you. I will now be an open book. Consider yourself warned. 

This years motto…is world domination. I no longer will play by the rules of the industry nor will I play the nice girl because of your illusional reputation. I will not pretend to like you and be interested in your lack of talents for the sake of being polite. I will move forward and break the barriers that continue to separate us from the amazons that control this industry. This isn’t child’s play to me. This is business. I’m not here to entertain you with frilly fashion shows every weekend. I’m here to design. So join me or move. Either way, I’ll see you at the finish line. 

1 Comment

  • Reply January 24, 2013



    Those are strong words, but true to the one who had been in your shoes. You do what you need to do as long as it works. Rules are just regulating principles that people follows, the exercise of authority or control. You can create your own set of rules. You never know how soon someone else will follow them too. Great post!

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